#i hate being a freak
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#vent#i hate being a freak#why can't i be normal and understood#why do none of my words make sense#why can't#i just don't want to do this every day forever#i don't want to get up just to say nothing ever and then when i do talk no one understands the sounds coming out of my mouth#i hate being alone with myself#i can't take it
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Contrary to popular belief etho and bdubs are not divorced and in this essay I will
#dbhc flavored because. well. look at me#do I seem normal to you#dbhc#dbhc art#art escapades#dbhc etho#dbhc bdubs#bdoubleo100#ethoslab#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#wlsmp#wlsmp spoilers#dbhc wlsmp#ethubs#bdubs#etho#bro they’re freaking LAUGHING under those arguments. they obviously care so much for each other and in my Ted talk we’ll be#[and then she talks for 3 hours]#they make me so happy btw. bringing joy to my household on these nights#trafficblr#traffic smp#now. 'divorce' duo folks i hear you#'well of course they're laughing--the cc's don't actually hate each other' you would be correct#but consider this: they're allowed to be whimsical and have play-fights *in character* too#im speaking to a small minority of ethubs fans btw & this is not meant to be pointed LOL im being so unserious and very silly about them ^.#etho and bdubs duo i love you. never stop being weirdos#IM NEVER DRAWING THAT DANG HORSE AGAIN BTW#this is a lie probably <3#dbhc tango
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DEEP💥SPACE💥PLANET💥FUTURE💥GUN💥ACTION❗️
#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#this is ALSO an old doodle that took me more than half a year to get around to coloring. that i ALSO forgot to post here LMAODFJSI#help. i rly went out of my incredibly small comfort zone for this one (background. text graphics. VASH'S COATTAILS)#i almost died like 30 TIMES drawing vash's coat oh my lord.#vash the stampede your swag is impeccable BUT I HATE DRAWING YOUR FREAKING COAT!!!!!!!!#anyways. i've always wanted to yank those ribbons/straps on his back. that is the inspiration here#pls continue to make jokes about him being a designer bag bc i've seen some on ig and twt and i love them thank you
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Hilson should have had ONE. (1) honest to god fistfight. Not talking about no pansy ass scuffle either i need a FIGHT. Im talking bloodied noses nd bruised cheeks. I need them to exchange words that will alter the course of their relationship forever. MOST OF ALL. They need to make out nastystyle afterwards
#Drawing this was so fuckingfunny because house is so absolutely into this HHEKELALLAOAPPPAOSJHHAGHEHU#Yes i tried to draw this homoerotic as possible but simultaneously house by nature would be SO into this i dont even get a say in it#LOOK AT HIS FACE#Wilson would get MAD mad and house would be like “😳😳😏😏” Hes such a little freak. What fucking ever#House needed to get jumped soooo bad chase swinging on his ass is still to date the best thing hes ever done in-show#Im not even sayingthis becayse i hate house i fucking love house actually one of my charactersof all time#But the shit this man pulls sometimes. Bro#like u need to get jumped. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD#johan being crazy about yaoi md#johan's scrapbook#house md#house md fanart#hilson#hilson fanart#james wilson#gregory house
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Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.
But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.
But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.
It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'
#o.#trans#transphobia#transmisogyny#I may or may not be talking about a specific post I saw that made me irritated but I didnt wanna get in an argument with internet strangers#sorry guys I'm still heated over freaking collin allred capitulating to ted cruz and throwing trans girls under the bus bc he didnt have the#guts to stick to his morals#and called them ''this idiotic business with boys in girls sports'' or some crap#as if trans girls don't deserve to play the sports they love. like I imagine if they blocked trans men from being physicists or something#and I just wasn't able to pursue the career I want? that would destroy me#and I still had to vote for him because the other options were ted cruz and some freaking libertarian.#sorry thats all tangential but can we not use the same rhetoric that all these politicians do as an excuse to kick trans women out of public#life PLEASE 🙏#...also I really hate the Popular Transmasc Ideology that says that we all experience life as basically the same as a cis woman & never have#to navigate having male privilege & being an ally to women#and all have some sort of Innate Connection to femaleness or womanhood or whatever bc 'obviously' we all grew up just like girls do#ugh#this one's going out there sans editing so dont yell at me if I worded smth weird please 🙏
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happy pride to all queer children of immigrants
patreon
#muertodraws#queer art#queer comic#lgbtq#pride#trans artist#qtpoc#trans art#transgender#transmasc#mlm#if youre a queer child of immigrants you deserve free lifelong therapy#this comic was originally going to be a “i feel like a freak” cuz im trans and people dont know what to do with me#and then it turned into like. oh god this experience is compounded by your complicted relationship to uhh well#being mexican and a child of immigrants#i was originally going to add a quote from a jose marti poem but idk i didnt want this to get too long#i think if i did that i would prolly attract the attention of latine purists and nationalists lmfaooo#i already have people who dont even believe im mexican much less a child of immigrants much less a man#the most common hate i get now is that im a confused white woman gringa who isnt latin american#besides the transphobia im just like. have you ever heard of a diaspora#anyway#hope someone enjoys this
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i might be asexual
#just read straight smut#you know with y/n#and i was like ewwww bah ew#started skipping over it and couldn't even finish it#also the words were weird#just say they do sth and don't use crazy 'poetic' words#that's just weird#yea anyway that's why i hate reading y/n smut#always so fucking weird#and makes me feel repulsed#love gay smut tho or anything not involving y/n#well most of the time#sometimes even that is so weird for me that i have to stop#i hate being a freak
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Happy Halloween! 🧼🥩🎃
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mouthwashing#lan wangji#wei wuxian#A mouthwashing crossover was always the plan but I ran out of time for a bigger comic. So a doodle it is!#***I am about to talk about some stuff that is not for the squeamish so please take caution from here on out***:#Okay. I know that people who know what goes down in mouthwashing are seeing this and going 'OP Why?'#BUT HERE ME OUT: Wangxian's canon kink dynamic would not bat an eye at this.#You think Wei 'I love being tied up and at the mercy of my loved one' Wuxian would *pass* on amputee-caregiver abuse roleplay???#No! He's a freak like that! 'Oh nooo I have only residual limbs and no voice to protest. And I need to take my medicine...'#Oh we even have a bonus cannibalism thing going on here. Maybe WWX needs to bring cannibalism into the bedroom. To heal.#They are not sane nor safe but certainly consensual.#Convincing Lan Wangji to get into the Jimmy cosplay is probably the most unrealistic part of this.#We hate Jimmy. That's why he is such an amazing character.#LWJ is his near polar opposite. Man takes responsibility like it's his daily vitamin.#edit: how could I forget. Happy birthday to wei wuxian. Being a freak in peace is the ultimate gift I can give him.
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Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto
Bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus leshnerr#snap scans#i dont scan ever please forgive me for. Everything jvAE:KJ i tried my best to match the purple as how it looks in person#i love the purple used for this whole comic .. its really nice#all the comics have different colors its neat yall should check it out if youre able. its a lovely silly collection#BUT GIRL PLEAAAASSSEE IM CRYING#as a part of my Visiting My Family For The Weekend trip my bro and i went to the store#and i told him about the wolverine cat comic and the whole collection and he found it while we were browsing ....#naturally i got it. because i love the idea of cats being heinous freaks ESPECIALLY to my faves#this all did happen because of a cat. btw. phoenix possessed one while scott and jean were baking a cake#which had everyone trying to catch it. leading to. this. jWLRAKJAWRLKJKJ#this is 1000% has 'we'll be back by 8PM please keep the house clean' vibes i'm sobbing LIKE WHERE ARE THEY RETURNING FROM#also can i just say ... i love it when american comic book characters get the manga treatment#idk i just love it ... i esp love how wolverine's drawn in these comics but. this aint about him#i just wanted to gush about my favorite old people LIKE PLEASE CHARLES IS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE I SEE IT#the fact they still got that goofy lil 'welcome back charles and erik' banner im going to be sick. theyre the whole mansions dads#anyway i have an assignment to do. because my prof hates me Who The Fuck Makes An Assignment due At 12:59AM#bye bye hpoefully ill be back with my own doodles ajvlekjla
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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them
but. does ivan know that…?
the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself
because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"
but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—
surely this selfish wanting can’t be love
...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die
but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...
I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)
but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself
#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#ivantill#i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough#just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently#idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho...#'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave#ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing#making him the most miserable guy ever#...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well#c...can we bring him back... don't die like this.....#(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated#wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong
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Someone pointed out to me in one of my posts that the reason Perry was SO pissed off during OWCA files was bc he's jealous Heinz was spending time with so much of his co-workers, and Ive since been thinking about this and I genuinely hate how much this makes sense.
Obviously that isn't the ONLY reason, but. This is the second recorded time where Heinz ends up working for OWCA and BOTH times Perry spends the entire episode inexplicably grumpy and pissed.
You COULD say it's bc he's wary, he doesn't trust Heinz to behave professionally as an agent when he takes so much pride as an agent himself and incompetency pisses him off (true). Also that Heinz is lumped as his responsibility, and agent Lone Wolf hates being saddled to a person.....but these arguments crumble in light for a few facts.
1. Perry doesn't have THAT much respect for OWCA, and certainly not Francis, ESPECIALLY if they piss him off. See the aftermath of Undercover Carl. Its not a respect issue.
2. Perry knows what Heinz is like. He LIKES spending time with Heinz, and as early as the events in "Come Home Perry," HE knows that he can trust Heinz to always have his back. Its not a trust issue.
3. Perry is hugely supportive of Heinz reforming, and in MML, it's HIS money being the first and foremost funds provider for Heinz to start a time travelling agency. He likes Heinz turning tide fine, so long as he doesn't shut Perry out or leave him behind. It's not a Being Good issue.
So why was he pissed off?? Well. What's the ONE thing that upsets Perry, without fail, when it comes to his loved ones that isn't them being in undeniable danger.
Sharing. Perry hates sharing.
#Perryshmirtz#phineas and ferb#perry the platypus#heinz Doofenshmirtz#meta piece#more of my Possessive Perry agenda#i need my dude to chill out QUICKLY and IMMEDIATELY#tell bro no one is taking Heinz away he can have him 😭😭😭😭#this is why i love all the OWCA Heinz AUs where Perry is upset#cus like its a combination of so many things#its having to work in a team+newbies cramping his groove#but also it's Heinz always being in the forefront of trouble all the time#and he has to SHARE and he HATES sharing so going into this he was#ALREADY upset before all the shit happens#perry's control freak mind just has trouble with the idea of his loved ones in actual danger so much of the time so#i cant imagine how hard it is thinking about Heinz running headlong into danger all the time as his obligation demands him#poor thing. youre gonna give the platypus cardiac arrest
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british tv be like: got the perfect show for you, it's a 20 year old absurdist comedy about an alcoholic who runs a book shop and clearly has a thing for his assistant. he treats him terribly and is the most filthy disgusting creature you've ever laid your eyes on. yes, you will want to fuck him. 6 episodes a season, 3 seasons, take it or leave it. *spits*
#i love that literally the only reason he gives for not being gay is that he isn't into hygiene or dancing#this little freak deserves more tumblr attention#irish chainsmoker dramatic hateful tsundere alcoholic writer emotional myopic horder chaotic bisexual brunette#what's not to love#black books#manny bianco#bernard black#my nonsense
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i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#idikei#idicay#cereal tries to draw#i love any fanart of board game club and their bitch ass crushes jdslhffkjg teeheehee#cater and jamil can get along fine but board game club is incapable of behaving#they have to drop everything to bully the shit out of each other given the chance!!!#jamil does this with azul also. tbh i think it would be a war immediately and caters like HaHa Oh My GOd. ??!!?#cater actually it's hard to say bc sometimes hes like HUH!!!! CHILL OUT!! but other times hes a shady little freak of a guy and enables#things so like whose to say. maybe if hes in a silly mood he would join idia and jamil and it would be 3v1 rip azul it was nice knowing u#the rng of if they get peacekeeping caycay or mischievous caycay#it feels like it has been a While since ive really sat and drawn them...#i have had a lot going on <///3 and then all draw time is spent on art fight rn but. small break For Them#do u even understand me. do u see my vision. i want to put all four of them in an escape room#bundle them together and observe them under a microscope#god i just LOVE how any time someone in twst talks about another character it's always either like#yes this is a good respectable classmate of mine who i admire. or I HATE THAT BITCH HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS ACTUALLY!!!!#and then the haters are like best friends who hang out always jfdksljflkshg#but theyd rather DIE than ADMIT IT!!!#bitch boys who only respect each other when they dont know each other too well ig fjldksfh#board game club being god tier haters nonstop of each other is so fucking funny im literally obsessed with whatever they have going on#anyway!!! I WANT THEM TO HANG OUT MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm sorry but no videogame party does it like hawke squad. they're one of the most exceptional people in their city one way or another. they are remarkably pathetic and helpless when their personal shit hits the fan. their character arcs are a slight growth at best and a total regression and slow descent into a very bad place mentally at worst. no matter how you play hawke they can't completely change these fuckers' pivotal beliefs. they're obsessed with hawke anyway. half of them lives in literal shitholes. the other half willingly comes to aforementioned shitholes to hang out. their disgust and displeasure with each other is rarely a joke. they still care for each other's well-being to an extent. these bitches are very serious about wanting to cut each other's throats sometimes but they will behave for hawke's sake. they're also very serious about exploring each other's bodies and inventing nsfw fanfiction in thedas just to fuck with their friend group. the most unhinged dynamics of all time. there's no way it could be that good considering shitty writing and production hell but somehow it is. a mess of a game but also a miracle
#every time i pop up on this site it is because of them. the little freaks#i love you the most hated people in kirkwall <3 thank you for being this fucked up#dragon age
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it ate my soul and left my body
#trigun#vash the stampede#millions knives#trigun 1998#vash#knives#I just think the death of their harmony together is so interesting that it’s like . as if a whole person died#tearing each other apart from being one but it doesn’t erase being connected.. or something symbolic like that idk I tried to convey that#also plantc*st freaks get the fuck off my shit LOL I hate you it’s not for u!!!!!#their relationship as brothers is so important to me I really love it dearly heee heee… *breaks all my bones* ok#also caption is Float On by good tiger I love their music . lol HI. ok bye#no new color work i forgor to touch them all up
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#girl blogger#tumblr girls#girlblogging#dream#dreamcore#dream i had#day dreaming#just girly things#i don’t feel real#i miss you terribly#female hysteria#female experience#divine feminine#just girls being girls#lost love#dream about me#i can’t escape#female manipulator#is somebody gonna match my freak#pinterest#thinking#i love you#i miss you#sullen girl#im just a girl#im going insane#tumblr aesthetic#tumblog#i hate you#hell is a teenage girl
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